It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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