Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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