it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize