They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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