Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
