So drunk its hurt
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
