just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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