so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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