Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
