I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
