actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
