thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
