the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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