Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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