i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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