I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
