Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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