Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
