all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
