It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
