Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
