So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
