No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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