How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
