Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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