In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
