Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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