we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
