I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
