Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
