did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
