he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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