well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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