hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
