My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
high people should be assigned attendants
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
