We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
