my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
