I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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