But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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