there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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