I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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