they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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