It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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