I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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