There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
