your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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