WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
