They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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