I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
