I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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