Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Randomize
