We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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