She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
love makes seman taste better
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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