I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize