love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
