Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Randomize
