i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
