You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
