GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
