What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law