nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.