Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay