I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......