you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?