i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once