I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.