But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This toilet bowl is my home.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
