TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
